Monday, December 19, 2022

"Merry Christmas from Blood City, USA" - Christmas Noir by Jason Beers

"Merry Christmas from Blood City, USA" is the latest album  from Kansas City musician Jason Beers.  Much like the "NOW That's What I Call Music!" series-in-perpetuity, it's another year, another Christmas, and another Christmas album from Jason Beers.

From the mind what gave us "Garth Dohlie's Christmas Party", "Music for Seasonal Affective Disorder", "Having a Marfy Christmas" (Mrs. Helen Marf, tympani virtuoso) and "Still Having a Marfy Christmas" (Mrs. Helen Marf again) comes the 4th soundtrack for the Blood City, USA movie series.

Yes Virginia, there is such as thing as Christmas Music Noir, or perhaps Christmas-electronica-noir, because here it is, in all its glory.  And smack me upside the head with a dadgum mistletoe, this music works!  I've heard Jason say about a million times "the bongos really tie this whole thing together." Well, this time it's not bongos (bongoes? bong-gos?) it's sleigh bells.  "Sheila Undercover" is as noir as you can get, and there are sleighbells for rhythm throughout the whole song.  And it's perfect!  It's Mike Hammer skulking down a dark alley wearing a Santa Hat.

"Merry Christmas From Blood City" opens the album with a familiar Christmas melody, accentuated and enhanced with electronic moods.  Party on!

"Slay Ride" - I swear the Spirit of Mort Garson Past invaded the soul of Jason Beers for this one, composed and performed a masterpiece of electronic music, and added sleigh bells.  So many sleigh bells.  But they really tie the whole thing together.

"Billy Stagger and the Sex Elf" - well, this is a family blog...

"Snowball Fight" - the intensity builds.  With sleigh bells.  It's like Quarry lining up his hit while wearing an elf costume.

"Ho Ho Ho" - there's a lotta ways to interpret that title in the context of "Blood City USA".  Remember that time in another song when Santa Lost a Ho, and all he said was 'Ho Ho'.  I digress.  "Ho Ho Ho" is groove-funk, with a sleigh bell/drum break.  Remember the Zeppelin Christmas tour of '71 when Bonham did "Moby Dick" entirely with sleigh bells and a slide whistle?   Oops - digressed again.  "Ho Ho Ho" is danged cool.

The album wraps up with "Blood City Christmas Party".   Listening to this, you can just imagine Nero Wolfe sittin' on his XXXL keister knockin' down a gallon of eggnog.

To all my Christmas mixtape buddies out there, who are always looking for something different:  You want different for your 2023 mix?  Add "Slay Ride" - I dare you.  It has sleigh bells, therefore, it IS a Christmas song.

"Merry Christmas from Blood City USA" Liner Notes 

Here is the 4th soundtrack for the Blood City, USA movie series - action movies following the adventures of Billy Stagger in Blood City. Merry Christmas From Blood City was, admittedly, a cheap money-grab movie for the holidays. There was no theatrical release as it went to straight to video, exclusively in Jumbo Video stores in Canada. Infamous for the X rating it received due to graphic sexual penetration scenes and intense violence during the climax of the movie, Merry Christmas From Blood City, USA was banned in the United States and much of the rest of the world until 2022, 35 years after its release. And yes, this is the movie that launched the internet meme of "Come hither, Sex Elf, and witness the demise of my enemies!!!!" If you can find this movie, I recommend NOT watching it with the family on Christmas Day.

Der Bingle's recommendations from the Jason Beers catalog:
Crumbling Towers
How to Open a Portal to Hell
The Clyle Davenport Efron's Flight Series
The Blood City USA Series
Sasquatch Jazz
actually, I recommend everything....

R.I.P. Wild Larry

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